"Because it's my heart. You know when you charge a phone? You charge it to make it work, right? That's what happens when I play the piano. It charges up my heart."
Though he didn't really go around and say it, the boy clearly meant that playing the piano was his driving force in life. It made me pause and think about my own life. What is it exactly that drives me? Growing up in a Christian household, I was always taught to act a certain way and follow certain rules. Looking back, I think the only real act of rebellion I ever did against my parents was being stuck in daydreams instead of focusing on my studies. I'm a reluctant social drinker, never smoked, always called my dad if ever I'd be late getting home, and my parents knew all my friends.
I remember the times when people who didn't know me found out I was a Christian, they'd automatically think I'm a heavily religious person and probably boring to be around with. Let me just say this. I don't believe I'm religious. I am a spiritual person though. I believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. He made the world, created man, sent His Son, and gave us salvation through the death of Jesus Christ.
With all that said, you'd probably think that God was the driving force of my life. Sadly, He isn't, For me, it's a constant struggle to put God first in my life. It's so easy to be selfish. To say me, me, me. No matter how much I read the Bible, I still find myself wanting to go my way.
Why do I even bother? I just can't help it. His love for me calls for a response from my soul. It's a drive to please my Father. Even with that, my selfishness tends to get in the way. It's a frustrating cycle that keeps on repeating itself. Kind of redundant but, in light of the topic, apropos.
Now, I return to the question. What is it exactly that drives me? What is it that charges up my heart? Right now, it's the relationship I have with friends and family. I constantly thank God that I have a close-knit family and I've even been blessed with great friends. For the past couple of years, I've grown closer to many people that it's somewhat daunting especially since I'm not known to easily talk with others. The bonus point to all this is, these people I'm getting close to are as hungry for God, or
even more so, than I am.
During this part in my life, the charger for my heart is my relationship with friends and family. I'm sure that someday this will change. In fact, I'm hoping that it would lean more to God in the near future. But for now, I feel blessed for being given the opportunity to be surrounded by a great number of amazing people to care for.
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